Reframing Microfinance

If you give only what you do not need, it's not giving.

Harumph. This is an uncomfortable idea. One that may be easily dismissed, but caused me to sit bolt up right and grab a pen to write it down. Striving to consume less requires a prioritization of purchases, commitments and giving. Considering what you give to potentially be of limited consequence is not so pleasant.

I've been examining our spending and consumption habits to-date from a save more, consume less point of view. What if the whole point is to save more, give more?

Realistically, I'm going to reach a point where we've run out of books to give to the library; clothes and items to donate to Goodwill; dress clothes to give Dress for Success; unused pantry items for the food drive. These are all things we do not need. Sure we are giving it and others will benefit from it, but the greater sentiment is not moot.

What if the point is reframing our point-of-reference even further?

There's the much repeated story by various members of the Kennedy family about having cereal for dinner one night a week so that the money they would have spent on dinner could be given to charity. A similar sentiment was shared this past week, when our minister Charlie Parker remarked in his sermon, wouldn't it be great if we had to tell our kids, our families, we can't do this or that because we choose instead to give to the church?

Giving does not need to be framed in the context of Christianity or any other belief system for that matter to be meaningful or directed. It need only be authentic, purposeful, life changing.

And I guess that's it. What does that mean for us? How does giving to a cause factor into actual budgeting? After the mortgage, expenses, saving for the college fund, paying off the college loans, and saving for retirement...where's the line item for investing in change? On our own micro, maybe nano level.

Microfinancing isn't something we can do only for Africa. Microfinancing is what we should be doing with our own budgets. We could each be investing in the local, national, and international causes we believe in with the same discipline we pay our bills. That's meaningful, that would be amazing.

Open Table

In college we held a weekly dinner. Unstructured and largely unplanned, we'd stretch a dinner to feed 15 or other weeks just 5 or 6. I can't even remember why we started, but I do remember the friends, the laughter, and that there always seemed to be enough.

When we first got married we had a few friends over for dinner almost every single week the first year. It was a great excuse for trying out all the kitchen gadgets and serving platters from our generous friends and family. I can't remember what we served, but I can recall many of the faces that came to our tiny apartment.

We've shared Thanksgiving and Easter with dear friends and occasionally with others we barely knew. For several holidays my brilliant chef-talented friend Alicia and I would create elaborate plans for the menu; and yet it is the wine and tasty roasted rosemary nuts that we consumed while laughing late into the night that I remember most.

Growing up my mother always espoused an open table at the holidays. Friends from college stranded far from home were always welcome. Friends close by were always over the second their own gatherings were done. There was always enough.

We've gotten busier, our dinner party habits have been broken. We still share our table from time to time, but the invitation doesn't reach as far as it used to and the faces aren't as varied. In the spirit of convenience, we have narrowed our circle rather than widen it further. Traded conversation for Real Housewives; homemade for home quick.

There are plenty of reasoned excuses to not make an open table a part of lives. But it strikes me as significant void being formed instead of filled. It doesn't have to be scheduled with the frequency and consistency of an after school special, but I believe inviting friends near and far, known and unknown to the table is the making of a life well lived.

Commitment Issues

Travel is a part of our lives. Well, for at least half of us. Here is the conundrum. When one of you flies to far flung places for a living and the other stays put, where do you vacation?

Add to that your new found obsession with frugal and it creates perpetual list of  "well what about..." There are days I want to climb on top of a metaphorical chimney and shout "why don't we just go already? We're freaking kid free let's travel!" This is usually fueled by some sort of discussion that involved me saying, yet again, something about my new passport not yet having stamps. So classy. So thoughtful.

We've been to some great places, but with our new found responsible financial behavior, we're much more reluctant to just book a flight and go. I'm afraid we have vacation commitment issues.

First, we talked about taking out this nice girl Paris. Spend 10 days with her, rent an apartment, take advantage of great flights from Air France, shop the phenomenal January sales, see Versailles with snow, ooo la la.

Then we talked to a more outdoorsy chick Lake Placid. She has a killer lodge. Smores, roaring fires, hiking, down comforters, venison steak. Yum.

We flirted with the seductive Morocco. Oasis, sand dunes, history, the fez. Oh so spicy, but best enjoyed allegedly with a tour guide. We didn't want a chaperone.

There's always the venerable weekend trip, the one night stand of vacation relationships. We thought about picking up a few of those. New York, Charlottesville, Chicago, etc.

We've trolled jetsetter.com like it's going out of style. I discovered wanderfly.com and thought, yes! And then the ol' commitment issues crept back.

So outside the obvious (family obligated trips), how do you settle on where to travel and when?

Giving More By Giving Less

Presents piled high under the tree has long equaled a joyous, smile-filled Christmas morning. I too enjoyed plastic toy ladden holidays (I had a serious My Little Pony collection) and have had great fun being a part of holidays where kids and adults have received big gifts they didn't expect.

What if we restructured our giving and receiving expectations? Sure you could use the down economy or the handmade pledge as motivation, but dig a little deeper.

We start traditions in our own families based on what we experienced or wished we experienced as kids. So, why not start a tradition of less? Our children, friends, and family are not permanently hardwired to have to receive a certain number of gifts or a large scale item every year. Why does a dollar value have to equate to affection during the holidays?

And for the products we do purchase, why not consider leaving on the shelves the ones that have too much packaging. Manufacturers won't shrink their packaging and wasteful habits unless consumers vote with their dollars.

This year I'm continuing to make an effort at thoughtful gifts, so I thought I'd share a few shops and ideas that I love in hopes that others might be inspired to find just the right gift rather than a lot of so-so gifts to go under the tree or for eight crazy nights.

Paloma's Nest- Absolutely gorgeous ceramic work that can be custom made.

Belle & Boo- Great illustrator out of the UK with my absolute favorite images of late.

Nudo- Adopt an olive tree in Italy for a year and receive the olive oil it creates in return.

A Bushel and a Peck- Vintage bits used to make fab brooches (place a custom request for each).

Adagio Teas- Create a custom blend and gorgeous label for the tea drinker who has every flavor.

Matthew Stewart- Hand blown glass birds that you can custom order in just about any color.

Locality- these custom signs are awesome, a bit pricey, but so perfect for a special gift

Pennies for Peace- If you've heard of Three Cups of Tea (the book), this is part of the real organization.

Blurb- the best site for making photo books, and they have gift certificates.

And of course books. My favorites for kids this year include The Giant Jam Sandwich, Zen Shorts, The Pet Dragon (paired with a cool Buddha board), "Stand Back!" said the Elephant, "I'm Going to Sneeze", and Is Your Mama a Llama?

What do you love this season?

Fine Print

I have not read every word of the financial reforms that have passed Congress. I have also not read every word of every agreement ever mailed to me by a bank, credit card company or student loan department. I'm also not blindly obligating myself (to my knowledge) to any scams from a Nigerian king or bank or any other exploitative effort.

I would however still consider myself a fairly attentive consumer. I have read every term of every lease I've ever signed for an apartment. I do check to make sure there isn't anything glaringly wrong. I do read anything that requires my signature very carefully.

So when I recently went in search of a high-yield saving account I did my homework. I checked out multiple sites, I reviewed bankrate.com to see what their rates were holding at after the promotional terms end. I checked for hidden fees, easy access to money, ability to transfer between banks, etc. This was a multi-month process because I didn't want to commit and then have "deposit remorse" that I could be making more interest somewhere else.

This search ended with the opening of a high yield account with Capital One. Their 1.35% interest rate (I know, get excited) was far more stable and was higher than others on the market. I had long considered ING to be the right option for a liquid account, but their 1.1% and the continued decline of that rate took them out of contention. I looked at Sallie Mae, our own credit union, Ally, etc.

Cutting to the chase.They actively promote that funds transferred between external accounts and Capital One accounts will be available within 3-4 business days of the transfer. Sure fine. Technically I don't even need access right now, it's an emergency fund. It's principle people (wow, this soapbox is getting long tall).

Here's the fine print. On a separate website, in a separate section, three clicks down there's this language:

During the first 30 days following initial account funding, funds deposited into your account will be held for ten business days (available to you on the eleventh business day) after the day we receive and process the deposit.

For accounts opened and funded older than 30 days, funds deposited into your account will be held for five business days (available to you on the sixth business day) after the day we receive and process the deposit.

I only know this because I had to specifically ask why money I could see was deposited was not "available." Here is where as a marketer I cringe. They are using the word "post" in their ads, not "available." Thanks for the lesson in nuance banking world.

I read every word of what you sent me to sign and this was not in it. I'm guessing this was somehow referenced in a cloaked manner for me to deduce, but wow way to bury the fine print in a new and creative way.

So no, I don't have "deposit remorse", but I am irked as a consumer that the new "clear and easy terms" that we're supposed to be enjoying still aren't happening.

Roasty Toasty

Roast vegetables form a gloriously delicious bridge between grill season and winter's embrace. We happily crank up our ovens as the evenings get chilly, filling our homes with scents of the season and tastes we crave.

The unassuming butternut squash transforms after spending an hour at 325 degrees accompanied by an onion and a few heads of garlic (and a few brutal moments with a stick blender). Yes, butternut squash soup is a standard in the fall repertoire, but it's a satisfyingly quick soup that covers at least a few meals and is even better when reheated.

Here's the cream free option that I keep tweaking each time I make it. Easily doubled, but frankly I just make it again rather than stock up. It makes the house smell so yummy.

1 large butternut squash
1 large-ish onion (yellow or whatever is in the fridge)
3-4 cloves of garlic (this really mellows when you roast it, so if you want it more pronounced add more)
Olive oil or oil of choice
pinch of salt and pepper to taste
3-4 cups of vegetable broth
1 tbs fresh grated ginger

Preheat over to 325 degrees.
Cut squash in half, clean out seeds and goo (I use my melon baller for this).
Chop onion into very large slice/chunks and peel garlic cloves.
Place squash cut sides down onto baking sheet and sprinkle onions and garlic around the halves.
Roast 30 minutes. After 30 minutes I check the onions and typically sprinkle a little olive oil on them to keep them roasting down and not drying out. (or you can toss then in olive oil to start, works the same). Roast another 30 minutes (or if pre-oiled, just go 60 minutes).

Pull out, let cool a little bit or if you have hearty fingers dive right into scooping out squash into soup pot. Blend squash, onions and garlic with stick blender in pot, adding a touch of vegetable broth slowly until consistency you think you want (I prefer slightly thicker). Add in ginger and s/p to taste.

Allow soup to cook on medium to medium low for around 15-20 minutes, stirring occasionally. Eat.

Garnish options:
-Dollop of sour cream or yogurt
-Cinnamon, nutmeg or cayenne pepper
-Ginger butter (brown 4 tbs of butter, add in fresh grated ginger)
-Bits of candied ginger

Miss the creamy? Add in up to 1/2 cup of heavy cream during the cooking/ginger step.

Yea for an easy Meatless Monday option.

Authentic What?

How much is enough? Do we always need to be making more? And if we do, do we have to consume it or should we give it back? How do you give it back and to whom? What about retirement and savings? Should  we travel more? Prep for kids college funds?

Often the idea of limiting a household's income is framed in the context of traditional major life changes. Buying a house. Having kids. But, what if it was framed as a conscious choice to consume less and give more.

After you purge the belongings you really don't need; eliminate consumption minded spending (or really limit it); create a core plan for savings for rainy days and retirement; anticipate necessary increases in your budget for the future...what about the job choice?

Can you walk away from readily available income because the idea means more? The opportunity to authentically contribute to a real change in the world?

Should the aspiration be to redefine career and life success on our own terms? We've said for years that we make our decisions based on the love of the job and not the money, but it's easy to say that with two stable incomes.

Should our legacy as individuals and a generation be our Pottery Barn decorated houses and our Target filled closets? What if we cut back or walked away entirely? How could we alter the consumption economy?

Our tendencies for societal defined roles is not limited to domestication, we readily embrace a manner and style of consumption based on our station in life. We might feel better about it because it's organic or from lululemon, but it's still just consuming.

Where's the balance? How do we balance? Making money isn't evil, buying beautiful things isn't either. But I feel like it's easy to subscribe to a lifestyle of consumption based on convenience. We specialize in justifying our choices without hesitation.

Over cocktails this is always a favorite topic of conversation and it often comes (in recent years) with a "well, you feel that way now, wait 'till you have kids." Perhaps I'll eat my words some day, but for now we're trying to figure out how to live more authentically with less and what that really means when applied to every aspect of our lives.