Proper List of Excuses

After feigning no knowledge of the fact that I even have a blog for years, DH casually shamed me the other day by pointing out that he finally figured out how to subscribe to this rambling mess--but I hadn't written in ages. So here is a quick, totally lame list of excuses as to why I haven't been writing:

View of the river at Salt Water Cowboys in FL.

1. Mornings- We're still not friends, but I've been getting up way closer to 6 or 6:30 voluntarily that I ever thought possible to make it to (gasp) the gym or yoga. As a result, my evenings are getting cut shorter and shorter because apparently you have to go to bed early to get up early. Who knew?

2. Class- No I haven't lost my mind and decided grad school would be fun to do, again. I'm taking Curatorial Practice merely for the fun of it and you should totally come this Saturday to the exhibition opening and see the amazing work by the artist I selected Joseph Lappie.

3. Neighborhood- I'm having a total love affair with our new neighborhood and the dog is the main beneficiary. He's getting way more walks than he used to and I think being a city dog agrees with him. Well, at least he's tolerant of the slow pace I take to gawk at all of the embassy houses on the other side of Connecticut. What's brilliant, is the sidewalks are huge and no one actually walks there, so it's me, the dog and the secret service patrols. Btw, if any wants to purchase and gift a townhouse on Wyoming to me, feel free.

Beach in St. Augustine.

4.Decorating- Turns out that trying to decorate your house like a grown up takes time. Well, the good news is, I'm totally out of budget for now, so this project will be on temporary hiatus.

5.Travel- Both taking it and the lack of- meaning I've been lucky enough to see friends and their brilliant babes in Illinois, Missouri and Connecticut in the last few months and also escape to Florida for a nice long weekend with friends. And, DH has been home more this winter/spring than anytime I can recently recall. That's even with a trip to the middle of the Indian Ocean. So, I actually get to see him and do stuff. Crazy, I know.

So sorry, all three people who read this (4 with DH), I know your reading schedule has been just totally throw into havoc as a result. Let's just move on and instead think about how awesome Society Fair is in Old Town (total new favorite spot), the fantastic Doug Aitken: SONG 1 installation at the Hirshhorn, and tastiness that is this blueberry pie.

Blech.

Silence has been brought to you by the letter I as in illness. Since late last Thursday I've been ruing the day/the person/the food that has gotten me sick (not sure which). All projects slated for the holiday weekend have not happened (save doing the laundry) as I have been practically comatose. Props to the dog for staying by my side, still slightly disappointed I couldn't teach him to run to the store for me. Sigh.

All those thoughts I had in my twenties about what I missed out on not ever living on my own without roommates of any sort... total b.s. Seriously. Having no one around to ask to run to get you something as simple as ice chips from the next room, let alone something from the store sucks. Call me dependent, whatever. There was nothing pleasant about my trip to the co-op for me or the cashier who looked at me like I might give her the bubonic plague as I attempted to secure broth and more applesauce.

Slowly regaining footing just in time for DH's pending return. Finally.

Lenten Loathing

The ironic nature of starting a blog to track your own efforts in mindful living and then avoiding said blog because you're on a mental hiatus from moving forward is obvious in the time between posts here.

Lent as a marker in time during spring often serves as an apt reboot for new years resolutions. In the past few years I've pep talked myself not into giving up things such as caffeine or chocolate, but rather adding something new to my routine like more gym time, yoga, swimming, etc. As a result, I hit my training goals in 2009 and then promptly road my healthy achievements right off a cliff.

The odd nature of falling off a life precipice is that you are often in total free fall for an extended period of time before you really sit up and say "wow, when did that happen?" And by that, you of course are asking why you suddenly find yourself nearly 15+ lbs. heavier than when you started training, completely divorced from your gym routine, without any yoga centering left, and the closet you've come to runner's high in months was breathing deeply while driving past someone else running on a gorgeous day.

As I rounded the corner into 2011, I knew I was in trouble. The fumes of training that had propelled me across the 2010 Broad Street 10 miler were long gone and I was committed to kicking the 2011 race with some serious training. Then I canceled my trainer because I wanted to save the money. I haven't seen the gym since.

My friends and I sporadically tried to get reinvigorated by going to yoga, fail. We signed up for an 8k in March to give us a midway training goal. A  friend ran the race wearing my bib because the number of times I've put on my running shoes in recent months? Zero. Nada. Not even close.

Number of excuses? Infinite. Number of legitimate life altering excuses? Zero.

So Lent was to mark a new beginning for me, a chance to refocus. With less than three days to go, I am no further ahead than I was at the beginning. I actually can't run the race next weekend because I literally couldn't finish in the allotted time and taking your body from zero to ten miles on a single morning is unwise and potentially damaging. So that free fall? I think I'm starting to see the bottom of the canyon.

I know all of the one day at time adages, one foot in front of the other, try not to focus on the big picture, just start with something small. So my something small is acknowledging that I've lost all accountability.

I'm going to start climbing out now, I need go dust off my running shoes.

Cold Meds Are Cramping My Style

A dense cold infused fog has settled into my head and is refusing to depart. It's untimely arrival during our weekend trip was not ideal, but lucky me, it waited to go all out until I was back at work. It's gotten so bad I've had people spontaneously offer me cold medicine. I think death warmed over is probably a generous description of my current look. Sorry co-workers.

Yet, I am encouraged to persevere as the signs of spring are multiplying daily and I work to shake off this cold like the February blahs. So I am endeavoring to reengage with writing, running, and yoga this month so that the Broad Street 10 miler doesn't run me over.

Anyone else dusting off their mindful endeavors as March begins? I know I'll be adding new running shoes to my mix this month (the Brooks I've been running in are not comfortable) and hoping they magically make me wicked fast. Hmm, that might be the speed button on the treadmill.

I've signed up with my trusty race buddies for the St. Patrick's Day 8k-- that's going to be painful. I'm also loving a new Yoga Basics class at DownDog on Wednesday nights at 7:45pm.

The biggest shift, and I know this will sound easy for some, I'm going to try and make the flip from evening gym person to morning gym person. This may be harder than the actual hour I need to spend running at said gym. Mornings and I do not talk. Suggestions for updates to my run mix are welcome.

An Extra Hour

If there were only more than 24 hours in a day. Ah, the sentiment we've all uttered seriously or fleeting from time to time as we rush from task to task. After grad school, I can remember basking in luxurious open evenings. Spacious Sundays uninterrupted by a forced eight hour march at the library. Coming back to Washington work-life balance was at the heart of my career choice. Less on-call, less frenetic pace. All conscious choices.

A survey of the past three years back in our hometown, shows a splattered mix of the use of my new found free time. Nothing cemented with conviction and discipline the way grad school forces you to divide your days.

An hour for the gym.

An hour for writing.

An hour for cooking a more involved meal.

An hour for art/gift/photo projects.

Sure they've all made an appearance in the repertoire, but some how none has carved out firm time. So when DH travels for several weeks at a time I'm presented with an interesting opportunity that I've often squandered. Massive chunks of time that I can fill with anything at all. An ideal opportunity to form new habits, healthy habits.

So I'd like to be able to report that with the start of 2011 the latest sojourn brought on by his travel has set me on the right path. Specifically with reestablishing a five day-a-week gym schedule. That would be a no.

Rather, I've rediscovered a mean case of insomnia; tried out a few new recipes (yummy pork loin and pizza recipes will be shared later); caught up on a disproportionate amount of reality TV; and merely dappled in the gym.

Well, tomorrow is a new day. Maybe the extra hour I need to fit in the gym will be there.

Watch Out Thin People

The absence of a topic in conversation can be an indication how much you really don't want to talk about something. The topic that has eluded this blog? Exercise and weight loss. I've avoided it more effectively than the Christmas cookie platters of yore. I've told myself repeatedly not to write about it because it was too personal, putting too much out there. But enough, I'm going to meekly broach the topic.

So my jump start training of 2009 for 5K/10Ks and sprint triathlons did me a wonder of good. And then through a variety of personal stresses and ironically weighing myself one day and realizing I had lost more than I thought, I stopped really trying. Genius I know. Last May I drug myself across the finish line at the Broad Street 10 miler. It was awesome, it was painful, I want to do it again. With less pain.

Working to dispense of the psychological baggage of a plus-sized lived life, I've finally come to terms with something my doctor said to me several years ago. "Watch how thin people eat and exercise and copy that."

Let me tell you, I've been ticked off about that sentiment for several years. WTH was pretty much all I could think as I walked out of her office. I've been haunted by that phrase over and over again as I made choices at a lunch or dinner with a friend or colleague that is thin and fit. I've hemmed and hawed about it as I used the stationary bike at the gym and watched a fit women pound it out on the treadmill.

Over the last year I've finally started to interpret that concept into the more literal direct statement of "make better choices." Every single thing I shovel into my mouth is a choice. Every time I don't go to the gym is a lost opportunity cost. Implementing this realization is a bit more tricky.

So as I've mulled over new years resolutions to write, the items have not surprisingly centered around health. Yesterday, I caught up with my inspiring and kick-ass training partner from 2009 and independent of each other had both reached two conclusions: we want run a race again and we miss hot yoga.

So watch out thin people, I'm watching.
And very slowly running behind you.

These Teeth Were Made for Walking

Happily after my dedicated six month routine of flossing daily and more focused tooth brushing I have returned from the dentist cavity free. I'm sure cutting down on sugary drinks and general bad for you and your teeth stuff didn't hurt either.

However, my enthusiasm for no fillings is tempered by the fact that I'm breaking up with my dentist. No longer will the proximity to my office hold me hostage. For three years I've felt odd every time I sat in the chair. Perhaps I was spoiled by the brilliant dentists at the UMKC dental school we went to for three years. Perhaps it's the dentist we went to in Alexandria for more nearly eight years before we moved.

Hustling your patients to add on additional procedures, changing your answers when questioned and having no regard for their insurance coverage is not a way to keep patients/clients. This is a customer service business as much as retail or any other service-tied industry. If I don't trust you or don't like how I feel after interacting with you-- I'm not going to come back.

Mindful living means eliminating unnecessary negative experiences. So adieu dentist. I'll be taking my teeth and dental coverage elsewhere.

Beating Up Breakfast

Mornings and I are not friends. This is a long standing feud. Rare is the day that I don't feel like the sun rudely barged in on my pleasant night's sleep. Subsequently, my morning routine is anything but leisurely. Start to finish it's a 45 minute brisk rush.

Weekday breakfast as a result has been a long suffering step-meal. More days than not, I've skipped the "most important meal of the day." Often, when I toss something in my bag and eat it early in the day, I end up complaining that I'm hungry way before lunch. Whiny McWhine.

So, my recent meal planning has expanded to include more than just things DH will eat for breakfast, but items I am actually going to consume. I feel like I'm going into a fight with breakfast and it's going to give me a black eye and maybe a broken nose, but I'm going in swinging anyway. 

The first step has been the versatile apple. Also making an appearance are raspberries (when on sale), and clementines. I'm trying to steer clear of the nutrigrain bar, oats n' honey nature valley granola bar line of thinking because I've been down that road a lot and it never sticks. So, instant oatmeal has been purchased with the idea that I can eat it at home or work and dress it up a bit with the apple bits and raisins (a la MickeyD's but healthier).

Other quick morning breakfast options welcome, but let's be honest it involves cooking something on the stove in the AM, it's not happening.

Barefoot Brilliance

Start to finish dinner on the table in 45 minutes. Two new Barefoot Contessa recipes tried and devoured.  The pine nut couscous makes a lot, so I would half it or be prepared to have it for several days. For a veggie, I just chopped up green zucchini and cooked it with a little olive oil.

Of course, I packed up leftovers for lunch tomorrow before it occurred to me to take a picture. Trust me, it even looks good. An easy to impress the company kind of recipe. 

Barefoot Contessa Panko-Crusted Salmon (from her new book How Easy Is That?)

2/3 cup panko bread crumbs

2 Tbsp minced fresh parsley
1 tsp grated lemon zest
Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper
2 Tbsp good olive oil
4 (6–8 oz) salmon fillets, skin on
2 Tbsp Dijon mustard
2 Tbsp vegetable oil (I used olive oil)
Lemon wedges for serving

Preheat oven to 425°F.

In a small bowl, mix together panko, parsley, lemon zest, 1/2 teaspoon salt and 1/2 teaspoon pepper. Drizzle with olive oil and stir until crumbs are evenly coated. Set aside.

Place salmon fillets, skin-side-down, on a board. Generously brush tops of fillets with Dijon mustard and then sprinkle generously with salt and pepper. Press panko mixture thickly on top of the mustard on each salmon fillet.

Heat vegetable oil over medium-high heat in a 12-inch cast-iron skillet or large, heavy, ovenproof pan. When oil is very hot, add salmon fillets, skin-side-down, and sear for 3 to 4 minutes, without turning, to brown the skin.

Transfer pan to hot oven for 5 to 7 minutes until salmon is almost cooked and panko is browned. Remove from oven, cover with aluminum foil and allow to rest for 5 minutes. Serve with lemon wedges.

Authentic What?

How much is enough? Do we always need to be making more? And if we do, do we have to consume it or should we give it back? How do you give it back and to whom? What about retirement and savings? Should  we travel more? Prep for kids college funds?

Often the idea of limiting a household's income is framed in the context of traditional major life changes. Buying a house. Having kids. But, what if it was framed as a conscious choice to consume less and give more.

After you purge the belongings you really don't need; eliminate consumption minded spending (or really limit it); create a core plan for savings for rainy days and retirement; anticipate necessary increases in your budget for the future...what about the job choice?

Can you walk away from readily available income because the idea means more? The opportunity to authentically contribute to a real change in the world?

Should the aspiration be to redefine career and life success on our own terms? We've said for years that we make our decisions based on the love of the job and not the money, but it's easy to say that with two stable incomes.

Should our legacy as individuals and a generation be our Pottery Barn decorated houses and our Target filled closets? What if we cut back or walked away entirely? How could we alter the consumption economy?

Our tendencies for societal defined roles is not limited to domestication, we readily embrace a manner and style of consumption based on our station in life. We might feel better about it because it's organic or from lululemon, but it's still just consuming.

Where's the balance? How do we balance? Making money isn't evil, buying beautiful things isn't either. But I feel like it's easy to subscribe to a lifestyle of consumption based on convenience. We specialize in justifying our choices without hesitation.

Over cocktails this is always a favorite topic of conversation and it often comes (in recent years) with a "well, you feel that way now, wait 'till you have kids." Perhaps I'll eat my words some day, but for now we're trying to figure out how to live more authentically with less and what that really means when applied to every aspect of our lives.

Breaking Up with McDonalds

Sitting on the back porch of a good friend's house a new acquaintance remarked they were coming up on six years of being McDonald-free. Huh I thought at the time, how random.

I mean, I get not being all Super Size Me about eating there, but breaking up with fast food giant and its road side convenience seemed a little unnecessary.

Having a balanced diet means making a stop at McDonalds the exception, not the rule. With the plethora of summer produce available it should be no problem to skip it all together. We go months without consuming a morsel of golden arches anything and our household doesn't feel deprived.

But, as summer has arrived and the lunch choices on campus have gone from few to almost none (with McDonalds being one of the few places open), I've suddenly found myself tempted more often by the wafting smell of fries and the new snack size McFlurry.

The argument in my head about abstaining or just one bite fluctuates from day-to-day. So, I'm over it. No more excessive calories in a burger, special sauce, oreo mix-in tastiness. My willpower is too weak and we have to part ways. The healthier salad, oatmeal, fruit options do not appeal. No offense MCD marketing, I don't exactly think fresh when I think of you. It's not you, it's me.

I could turn this into a argument about the fattening of America; or the disincentives we've created in the food supply chain to access cheap, healthy food easily; or about the cost wasted on meaningless meals out, but I won't. You already know about that.

Bring on the packed lunches (better for the waist and wallet) and the planning ahead when traveling. Here's to a small step in being more mindful about what I eat.

Writing to Make it Count

Perhaps it is the idea of accountability to and dialogue with the masses that makes blogging so appealing. Even if the masses are only in your head. For years I have propagated the importance of online dialogue as a means of engagement through my daily work. In turn, I have also enjoyed keeping up with friends and their lives through their own blogs and in recent years unearthed a plethora of food blogs that keep me inspired and well fed.

However, I have never crossed the threshold of creating my own blog for reasons both obvious and benign. Over the past few weeks, I have sat listening to Charlie Parker talk about the intersection of environmentalism and Christianity. Not a connection I readily make or regularly consider, but intellectually intriguing nonetheless.

The facts and figures we have all seen and heard in various contexts over the years were reframed for me sitting in a pew. How much does each act matter? How much impact can one person/one household really have? How inconvenienced are we willing to be by a choice?

So this blog is my effort to try and keep myself more open and accountable as I attempt to make my own life more environmentally sustainable, more balanced. I am confident there are thousands of individual choices that we can make as consumers that will influence the products and services available to us. The supply chain won't change until the consumer demands it.