Translation Required

Having a spouse who travels regularly to far flung corners of the third world creates a unique balancing act in our relationship. We only have to manage for weeks at a time, not the years that military families often have to handle. But the time apart has certainly made me have a greater appreciation and admiration for the families that sacrifice their time together in service to the country.

We've learned overtime that we can manage the departure and even the time apart fairly well. Skype is a beautiful thing. When the Internet connection is spotty the Skype chat almost always works. Being flexible about the time of day we can chat can be challenging, but makes the trips easier. It's "re-entry" that is often the most challenging.

Coming off weeks of exhaustive work, sleep deprivation and long flights doesn't bring out the best in anyone. Merged with a fairly repetitive, domestic routine of work, walking the dog and cleaning isn't always pretty. I've learned that the three week barrier is noticeable. Another colleague's wife once characterized it as: week one you miss them, week two you work out a routine and by week three when they come back they are interrupting your routine. Sounds harsher than really intended, but the idea is generally correct.

The same patterns that we revert to as couples, can be maintained as individuals or radically altered when we are on our own. For most folks a few days a part might be a welcome occasional break. For most, regular departures is not ideal. I completely agree.

But when you know your life will include such a schedule, how do you evolve as a couple to make it as enjoyable and smooth as possible for both of you? The rewards of being with someone who truly loves their work is incredible. Truly living for the work, not just working to live.

Finding the right balance of get-a-ways, time at home, and respecting the transition time is important. How do you balance?